Heal My Flaws

I still get nervous to talk, I still can at times hold myself back from becoming my best self. I do care about how people view me how present myself. I do have trouble saying no and standing up for myself “when things are and are not going my way”. I still get into a shell when pointed out to say the right thing. I still struggle with saving money, I still struggle with believing in myself. I still struggle with material, paperwork, given to me knowing all this will better ME as worker, citizen, and male role model to better service other on this world.

The Life I’ve built with you oh Lord, I don’t want to change. I know the pain will come, but I know our still here. you always have my back, and you’re holding my hand through everything. I know there is somewhere out there Lord you want me to give my best. I need to learn what my best is so I will always put that as my first approach to moving forward! Lord help me find my best, and be my best and have the pain and the struggle at my best will keep their pushing through that because I don’t want the pain of giving up on myself. The challenges you make me go through is for my best to know its a better spirit now.

I know in this world we say we live in sin and yes, I live in a lot of sin I think.

my sins:

  • woman
  • sex
  • porn
  • suicidal thoughts
  • insecure at points
  • bad mouth
  • smoking
  • drinking

Now these don’t have to be sin! if you chose to respect all your sins and do not fall into temptation of them. Those sins instead could inflict pain or bad thoughts into your mind, just take care of your sins.

Woman- I need only one woman in my life. I don’t make enough money to have more then one woman in my life. I don’t have the charm for more them one woman tat I want to focus on long term. I want to make one woman happy. I want one woman to be my idol, my inspiration. I only need one woman and be my best for the ONE woman. I can tell her my problems, my issues, and lies. I can pray with that woman to give me her all and be by my side. if not Lord thank you for that woman, for helping me transform in to a better man, because I finally came over the fear of all my secrets and shared them with a person that I believe loves me no matter what I have been through.

Sex- I know I am driven by sexual lust, Lust that doesn’t have to be consider a sin but when you abuse lust like I have with using woman or having more then one woman. Watching porn or dating sites none of this is cool! NONE of this is going to make you happy long term, maybe for a short moment when your in the moment. That short-term happiness can be done by your hand or by one woman that your in love and fully committed to. Don’t stress/stretch yourself out to other woman for joy or pleasure (there is a difference). Then you are abusing and sinning between sex and lust. Ruining anything or as a man you can ruin a woman’s life that you are now trying to commit your life to. Be smart about who you are, you know the thing to do YOUR THE MAN! SO GET IT DONE! ONE WOMAN, ONE PARTNER FOR SEX & LUST FOR ONE WOMAN NOT MANY! OR YOUR SINFUL WILL NEVER END. IT CAN END NOW!

PORN- I hate porn. I really do I think its disturbing, and I always force myself to watch it because I try and balance out this ego of “I can get pussy just as fast as I find a porn video to watch”. so I always try for one or other and most of the time I ended with nothing (no porn no woman), or just porn no woman. or I ended with a woman no porn. Also there was times were I couldn’t get a woman and didn’t want porn, and I would give myself no rest. Again I brought unnecessary stress to myself at night when I can just READ A BOOK, OR WRITE IN MY JOURNAL, OR PRAY IN MY SPIRITUAL VOICE. I take those tools that value me in a new form of mindset to heal my thoughts and Bodley urges I have to help me make better choices before I let that urge in my body rise again. I can go read a book, study for my next career, pray to my lord, go on walk with Jersey (my dog). To do all these tools I have to trust in those habits to pull me through those mental blocks. Working on my mental toughness and body mindfulness knowing that when the lust comes to that it is the wrong place and time that peace need to be consumed by me from within with forgiving myself and bring peace to the outside world that will surpass my negative triggers that I am healing from within my body.

(write it out 20 times. where do you feel, or think about forgiveness or tension)

I can control my lust.

I can control my lust.

I can control my lust.

I can control my lust.

I can control my lust.

I can control my lust.

I can control my lust.

I can control my lust.

I can control my lust.

I can control my lust.

I can control my lust.

I can control my lust.

I can control my lust.

I can control my lust.

I can control my lust.

I can control my lust.

I can control my lust.

Night and Day I can control my lust. Jesus is always here for me when I can’t he has my back and gives me strength and the mindset to move past that choice of lust and do the right thing, LET THE FEELING GO!

Suicide- I’m not dying, I’m not dying anytime soon, so I need to STOP thinking about suicidal thoughts. I am better and stronger then those thought is my head. All the support & love that I have from Illinois and Florida. You dying won’t help nor change the problems your putting yourself through. It will change your legacy of how you will be remember if you kill yourself. I will admit I don’t have a lot of insecurities, but I do lower my self-esteem to another persons level to be around them or even to relate to them. I have to remember that lowering myself doesn’t have to change apart of me so I can be with (apart) of who they are so they feel comfortable around me. you always give your best Michael, if your mouth isn’t up to par with the people around you then I need to go and build my life and vocabulary to support what you preach.

Healing- I know when I broke my hands I did change, my perspective of how I so adjust and adapt to life. My mind can Let GO! I am healed, I am healed, I am healed! Lord thank you, for healing me lord. Now I get my health back were it needs to be. I work on my mind and bring structure and organization to my heart and mind. I live to learn the world and learn the world in a way I can bring my best foot forward to be the male role model the Lord has called me to be.

Purpose driven Roots.

Working out

Healthy eating

Pray, worship

working a job

keeping my home clean

be a work house @ work & home

always feeding my filter to learn and succeed

I am entitled to noting!

My purpose- My lord wasn’t for me to fall into traps and mistakes and headaches and come out of them cripple and alone. You put me through all those issues to build my heart and knowledge to know you made this world, the way you made me Lord to serve in your world the calling you have asked me to pursue and not fight against that calling anymore. I have seen now where the world is deceiving and it can take you down a road that will make you give up on yourself. Lord stay my shield of m mind, my heart, my spirit, my worry, my issues. I TRUST IN YOU LORD! WE WILL WIN! AT THIS LIFE YOU HAVE WRITTEN FOR ME! I WILL WIN WITH YOU MY LORD! Lord Jesus, no matter what I go through now if its work I will start my work and I will finish my work with the strength of the Lord and my spirit! When I study for my career or study to make me a better person for my health, soul, and Lifestyle. Lord I will work, when no one else will do that work. I will set goals and achieve my goals because I work hard from start to finish. The Job has taught me, I will learn and keep learning till I know I have learned enough to be the best I can be. I need to put 100%, 100%, 100% of my effort into everything studying, my paperwork, training course or curriculum. I will tackle the job and fix it and get the job done the way I was trained and taught. I will read everything I need for a job to be the best at the job, I will read and study read and study over and over! I will be fluent and work with the teamwork of others to reach the goal we set for our work. even when I get tired of reading, I can’t get tired of reading, I can’t get tired of reading and learning. I can’t get tired of working, studying, learning, or reading. I can’t get tired of reading to sharpen my mind. I can’t get tired of studying to keep myself prepared. I can’t get tired of learning because I DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING!

Jobs I believe I can invest my Lifestyle in.

These jobs, are jobs, that help me transform and keep me grounded about where I want to invest my life to grow in areas that matter to me. In the fields of choice, I know how much stress my mind and body can handle, I know in these job fields I have control of where change is coming to keep myself prepared and proactive to be ready for the next door and opportunity.

The Jobs:

Teacher

coach

Driver

mentor

Cooking

Trainer

Where God built his dominate trait, He was a tree a strong tree that understood if he was around sinners, mockers, the wicked. He wouldn’t be in connection with his thoughts for what he believed in and he didn’t bare his fruit for the ones that didn’t respect his law day and night. God knows we aren’t perfect like him to always wither the storm and keep ourselves stable. But, what we can not do is forget what fruits he had blessed us all with to be trees to stand, tall, and strong. God helped us get there. Because we believe in his word day an night, same with a job mike, your work place will have sinners, mockers, and wicked surrounding you. But having all that there you have in the mist of his presents as the lord will always be there with you. He has made you stronger then any mocker or sinner in that work environment. Michael you have to believe in what God has put you on this earth to do. You need to stay to his word, his love, his presents Michael. He is the approval Michael you need to fulfill your purpose of whatever job you want to have and succeed. God is your Only approval, Michael you just need to learn to work with the system, that God knows you can fight through those growing pains with people that are over baring to you. Michael all this has to stop, you have the right Michael to respect yourself so DO THAT!

What do I want as “my Lifestyle” routine.

* I like going to bed at the latest 12 midnight.

* I like waking up the earliest 4-30am-5:30am.

* To end my day, I will take jersey out for a walk and come back in and eat, pray, and study and build the game plan for the next day.

* My mornings jersey my dog and I will go out for a jog and then workout (at home). eat breakfast or have a nice smoothie or protein shakes.

* Next i will hop in the shower, get dressed and brush my teeth.

* also i would like to read/ write twice a day at least give myself 30mins.

I would breakdown my reading/ writing sessions into two 15min sessions or just two complete 30mins session, either way I am still getting reading and writing twice in my day. when I sit down to take the time to write within my 15min/ 30mins I write about goals that I have set for myself. The first set of goals that I list to myself are the goals that I have achieved from my past to give me this suitable foundation of who I am now. The next set of goals I write are the goals that keep me effective, intuitive, and aware of myself in my present day to day actions that I serve myself or others in the best abilities and talents I have to get the job done. Last I always have to give myself goals for the future that helps me build trust in myself that the little things make sense and that I am doing them right by knowing I can still get better and have a better self-esteem and energy. when I read, I always plan for myself to read a chapter within the 30min sessions I give myself. The book can be any book (textbook, novel, magazine, bible) the whole point is to give yourself the approval within you that will help you grow and build you in new ways to approach goals with a start to finish mindset while knowing that time is on your side. While I take this time to read and understand the topic I am reading, this will help me in life somewhere in someway. Reading can be draining for most that’s why we create powerful short sessions to read, understand, and feel a sense of reliance from the old you into the new you from clarity, focus, and managing your time to benefit yourself.

My Victory in the beginning and End

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

I won’t give up on Jesus.

He is my strength when I am weak. He is my focus when I am lost. He is my drink when I am thirsty. He is my thoughts when I am thinking. He is my joy when I smile. He is my tears when I’m sad. He is my wall to protect me. He is my teacher and my leader he will advance me and guide me to every end and every way to secure what he has done in me to give back and help others years to come.

“Studying”

Study does that word speak to you in any way? Do you feel one of your five senses tingling? Does your mindset turn emotional or focused? Within your own identity does studying bring a sense of being persistent or instinctive? When you study do you think outside the box or in the box? And when you study Yourself do you Think to yourself, Read to yourself, or Write to yourself? These three keys help reach the root of foundation of your personal power because how well you study and telling yourself you can study you in the best or worse character and spirit.

Ratios: two of three keys are in tune with you to be reactive while we use one to be programmed. Could we Transform to use the two or all three keys to be proactive and “Study” how we are programmed to progress and process what we react to. Let’s find your gut to a better attitude because study is Key to unlock yourself!

I can Study.

I can Study.

I can Study.

I can Study.

I can Study.

I am not afraid to study.

I am not afraid to study.

I am not afraid to study.

I am not afraid to study.

I am not afraid to study.

I am not afraid to study.

I am not afraid to study.

I am not afraid to study.

I am not afraid to study.

I am not afraid to study.

I am not afraid to study.

I am not afraid to study.

I am not afraid to study.

I am not afraid to study.

I am not afraid to study.

I am not afraid to study.

I am not afraid to study.

Happy as you act

Don’t ever be afraid to act upon what you know is right to do or say in the right thing to do. For you and your life to be the best person, and live as happy as I can.

I love myself for who I am now.

I love myself for who I am now.

I love myself for who I am now.

I love myself for who I am now.

I love myself for who I am now.

I love myself for who I am now.

Breath in for 5, hold for 3, exhale for 7 Transform

I can set the tone for my with God, Amen.

I can set the tone for my with God, Amen.

I can set the tone for my with God, Amen.

I can set the tone for my with God, Amen.

I can set the tone for my with God, Amen.

I can set the tone for my with God, Amen.

I can set the tone for my with God, Amen.

Never be Afraid

Your mind will process READ, HEAR, SAY, SEE, and DO. 10% read, 20% Hear, 30% see, 50% See & Hear, 70% Say, 90% Say & Do. How do you connect to these personas, senses of the body, and the actions you do that tell the evidence and truth to your environment and your story. “Your intuition in connection to your soul for guidance in life to be true & free”

Never be afraid to read and write what you wrote.

Never be afraid to read and write what you wrote.

Never be afraid to read and write what you wrote.

Never be afraid to read and write what you wrote.

Never be afraid to read and write what you wrote.

Breath in for 5, hold for 3, exhale for 6 Transform

Never be afraid of trying again. Ok.

Never be afraid of trying again. Ok.

Never be afraid of trying again. Ok.

Never be afraid of trying again. Ok.

Never be afraid of trying again. Ok.

Never be afraid of trying again. Ok.

Never be afraid of trying again. Ok.